LIFE

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears!!!

1.) I am so tired of being sick and tired…
With the medication…
Less headachess…Great right…
But then I get dizziness…nauseated ALL the time…and then my face tingles and goes numb…
Yesterday my lips and tounge went numb…
Then my legs went numb and cramped all night long…
And the vertigo is so annoying…
But without the medication I can’t even get out of bed…
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!!!!!

2.) You know I had a number two last night when I was composing this email in my head while i was trying to go to sleep….
Oh thats right….
Stinkin insomnia…
And I’m not the only one…
My husband too…
I have not been able to get any sleep in the last week and a half…
Even fully doped up on REALLY REALLY strong sleep meds…
I just lay there and hallucinate….
Or when I do sleep I have these horrable dreams…

3.) I have been so cranky lately…
I know it has something to do with the new meds…
It has too…
So I’m having to make a lot of effort not to be cranky with everyone and be the normal pleasant Amanda….
I shouldn’t have to make effort though…

4.) I’m so fat…
A year ago I was 122 pounds wearing a size 2 or 4…
Now Im 170 covered in stretch marks…
Pushing it with getting a double chin I think…
Wearing a size 16 jeans…
And I cut all my hair off…
Really bad I know…

So here are the things that I was thinking about when I was going to sleep last night…
Now you all know me…
I rarely show my really bad negative side but here you have it…

P.S.
Sorry I usually am never this negative…
Just have those thoughts and have to get them out every once in a while…

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