So I had wanted to do a 40 day public journey with my friend Laura but I’m going to end this with Day 20. Why? Because a lot of the stuff I’m going through right now is very personal so the more and more that I did in to the word the more and more personal it gets. I don’t feel comfortable right now posting a lot of this on FB.
My journey will continue just not in a public manner.
I waited till today to finish this publicly because today was my 1 year appointment with my doctor for the disease I’ve been struggling with called AVN.
What this journey through Psalms and through Romans has really done for me is bring me to a place of peace in my faith. A few weeks ago it was like a switch just went off in my brain. I went from a mentality of fear with my circumstances to a place of complete faith and trust in God for the outcome. I’m not afraid anymore. Whatever God wants to do I’m ready. It’s so freeing to feel this way because its very possible I will have to have major surgery this year. So being in a place of trust and not in fear of surgery is amazing for me. I’ve really come a long way in my journey against fear and placing my full trust in God. Here some key things that I’ve learned.
1) Its so important to stay in the word. There really is something to the “renewing of the mind”. The more I renew my mind the more I’m able to keep my mindset based on Him and not on fear or worry. Life just happens around me and I feel His peace. The moment I stop renewing my mind daily everything falls apart. Those fears come back I start to struggle with daily circumstances again.
2) When life does start to get crazy or a circumstance starts to become really hard to have patience with (like not being able to walk normal) I remind myself of all the amazing things God has brought me through in my life. I read over old journals and just look at how far I’ve come. There is amazing power in our testimony. It builds our faith as well and keeps us going.
3) Having a solid group of friends and mentors for moral support is key. I’ve had some amazing people walk with me through these past few weeks. We’ve seen God answer huge prayers and they have given me such amazing guidance and been such a huge help to me and I’m so thankful for that. So never be afraid to ask for help or tell someone that your struggling. when your dealing with something that doesn’t’ go away overnight you need these people in your life. They will really help you stay away from falling into depression or discouragement.
4) Lighten up. Find things that help you relax and enjoy life. If your so focused on the circumstance all the time it becomes all you think about. Find a good book to read, find a hobby something that just takes your mind off things for a while. I’ve really enjoyed babysitting. I get so much joy out of children they just bring so much life to the world and I enjoy every moment that I get to spend with them.
5) Challenge yourself to find a way to serve. Serving others is not only what we need to do as believers but it will also bring you such joy. I enjoy now more than ever being able to help others. When you have something like your health taken away or hampered for a long time you begin to cherish the little things that you never really thought about before. For example there is a conference coming up in August that I really want to attend and they are asking for volunteers. I may be in a wheelchair but I can sit and so something like pass out tickets what a blessing that is to me. And I can’t wait to help out and do this!
I really hope that what I’ve been going through brings encouragement to anyone that needs it and that my openness about all of this ministers to you in some way. I’m still on a huge journey. Like I said I might be facing surgery this year. I have a meeting with a hip surgeon next week to talk about different possibilities but to even get to the point to where I can have surgery I have to lose 30-50 pounds. So I have a lot ahead of me yet again but my faith is so strong and my confidence that I will overcome is even stronger!