Sitting on my bed feeling useless.
Wishing and hoping for a passion that’s not there.
Wondering why I don’t feel it when everyone else feels.
There are so many questions I often ponder.
Why can’t I change for the better? Get rid of this ugliness inside?
How can I feel love when I only feel compassion?
I want to love but I don’t know how.
If anyone can help me I can’t find them through this endless mist.
I want to cry but I hold it back.
Is it because of pride or fear from the lack?
I want to swim freely in the river but I don’t know how.
The tears come but what do they show?
Pain or compassion or both?
Poem Written: February 12, 1999